Stephen From Utica

Pal heard this driving home real late the other morning on WFAN. Think he said it was almost 4 a.m.

He’s still not sure whether this was a satirical call/voice doing that character in the Harvey Pekar biopic American Splendor or if it was Stephen’s genuine tone. Either way, for nothing else, it’s worth a listen to hear the way he annunciates “horses”.

Kinda Cool?

chesterton image poster

Pal likes the de Botton books and videos and all his mumbo jumbo about Proust. Apparently the Swiss is hawking these posters now. This particular one is stimulating and features the words of G.K. Chesterton, who was once slugged the “prince of paradox”. The nickname had everything to do with proverbs like these — sayings he would disembowel, bleed and hang.

Ready to Pry

 

I Got a Story to Tell” is a song that makes good on its promise.

The Notorious B.I.G. tells a story over a riffy beat about how he got with a woman who was dating a player on the New York Knicks. There’s much more to it, but that’s the gist. Plenty of details in between. The Brooklyn rapper died at the age of 24 in 1997, so we’re talking about Pat Riley’s Knicks here.

For years everyone thought the athlete in question was John Starks (Biggie mentions that he’s 6’5″ in the song). It was assumed.

Big Joe squashed that rumor probably for good the other day when he went on ESPN and said it was the late Anthony Mason. A brick house of a man with a handle like Stockton, a body like Malone and a penchant for etching messages into his closely-cropped hair. Continue reading

Old Cat

On Monday, Tiger Woods said publicly that he wasn’t ready to return to competitive golf. Then he ceremonially hit three tee shots in a row into the drink.

Right after some sandbagging, weekend hack mortgage lender stuck his ball on the green.

Imagine your pudgy, out-of-shape boss following a Michael Jordan missed layup with a furious windmill dunk. Or your labrador retriever besting Ken Jennings in FINAL JEOPARDY! Or your grandmother knocking out Evander Holyfield.

Pal says Eldrick is done. In fact, he was only a few miles from Congressional (where the presser/shots took place) and regrets not taking a trip over there. With a black suit on. And a couple of handkerchiefs. And condolences.

Dust Commander

Dust Commander is the name of the horse that won the Kentucky Derby in 1970. Pal says his dam was Dust Storm and his sire was Bold Commander. Looked it up. He’s right.

Fact is though, few people today remember who won the race that year. What they do recall, and particularly fondly, is the story Dr. Hunter S. Thompson wrote while “watching” the race, titled “The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent & Depraved”. Read it.

Or watch/listen to the audiobook above. Or watch this ESPN doc on the subject.

It’s the furthest thing from cheapjack scum.

Yoqimli Chaqirish Qiz

Pal found this sultry photograph in an Associated Press writeup. It shows actress Milana Vayntrub, famous for her cutesy role in commercials as an AT&T retail associate, “Lily”, and details her mission to help Syrian refugees while on vacation in Greece.

Pal said in the article it mentioned that Milana was once a refugee herself, in 1989, when she and her parents fled the former Soviet Union (Uzbekistan).

Galaxy Thumping

Reading Hunter Thompson letters will make you buy stamps.

Wont

Could be Mercury Retrograde. Could be the tides. Could be the migration. Could be pollen. Could be the water from the tap. Don’t worry. Nothing is fucked. We have brand new ones.

I AM THAT LOVE THAT I AM

MY PALM IS FULL OF JELLY

TOUCH THE MOON DARLIN’

A MILLION BAGS OF SUGAR

JUST GRIN, BABY

YouTubehead

Pal didn’t expect this.

He thought Yorke was regressing towards non-melodic chants over phony metallic synth beats, like a pale English Trent Reznor. He detailed a dream he had of Yorke reading aloud from his notebook of chorus-less trash to Jonny Greenwood as the guitarist sat in the parlor half-listening, head in the next Paul Thomas Anderson script about Jesus performing miracles as an aluminum siding salesman in 1960s Ohio. Jonny, without looking up, simply waved his hand in indifferent approval.

But no. That never happened. This is pretty. Even the plaything stop-motion stuff is confection.

PSA

Because it’s always sensible to avoid sounding like a jagoff.

If you plunked down $100 (about £68) on Leicester City to win the Premier League at a godforsaken Vegas sportsbook before the season started, you would’ve won a mountainous $500,000 (about £339,520) on Monday.

QUOTHKO

When Pal walks down to feed the ducks at the park, he doesn’t give them the whole loaf. He breaks it up and doles it out in small pieces. The thing is though, it’s not bread he’s divvying, but fodder he cooked up himself. Nosh that’s left the waddling waterbirds sleepless and corrupt.